Nothing
by Masquerade Brawler
Summary: "Nothing?" "That's all I am to you... That's all I am ever..." A bit gory little bit of Sneira fluff resting in my head.


I kneeled over the tub which was pounding steaming water onto my head and cried my heart out. The water was hot and painful and running entirely too hard making my scalp sting and burn but that was easy, so much easier than the torment in my heart. I'd rather the physical pain kill me because... I couldn't.

"Miss Keira mind telling me what exactly you are doing?" a deep voice murmured into my ear softly. I drew in a shuddering gasp and sobbed

"I can't"

"It'd be helpful if you tell me what exactly you cannot do. I am afraid I am not clear on your meaning..."

Oh Gods he didn't know. He...

I pulled my head out of the tub and made to push past him when his hand snapped forward and curled around my wrist holding me there.

"Keira..." he growled.

"L-l-let go." I mumbled pulling away to no affect.

"Look. At. Me." he snapped biting off every word.

I didn't have a choice so I took a deep breath and looked up into his large black eyes. I thought they were gorgeous... He raised an eyebrow. I thought _he _was gorgeous... And started sobbing instantly again pulling my hand away. He released it, shocked and I pulled it to my chest holding it there and sobbing. He looked back at the overflowing tub and turned it off. Then he blinked down at me. "Why are you crying you foolish girl?" he inquired softly.

"I-I-I-I c-can't" I sobbed.

"You cannot, _what_?"

"Do this"

"Do _what_?"

I glared at him long and hard and with venom in my tear-filled grey-purple green flecked eyes and suddenly screamed at him "I love you, you fucking moron!" before starting to sob again "And it h-h-hurts."

He flinched at my tone then blinked realising what I was saying. He shook his head. "No you don't, Keira."

"_**What**_?" I hissed up at him.

"You may lust after me or even be infatuated but you do not **love** me." He drawled in a slow unsteady tone.

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself not me. I was absolutely furious. We were in my bloody house in the bloody _Underworld_ being basically held captive by my _mother_ who gone absolutely _deranged_ with the idea that I was finally in love with someone. And he had the _audacity_ to try and tell me I was feeling something else! I took a deep breath trying to calm down. He stood making to move past me and for some reason that made me just simply snapped. I grabbed him roughly by the collar and kissed him hard pushing him into the wall.

"Mmph" he growled pulling me against him pressing his hand into my back softly. I pressed against his chest moving my lips against his softly. He tilted my head up and I ran my teeth along his bottom lip softly. He slid his tongue across my bottom lip and I bit it softly making him moan quietly into my mouth. _"I'm kissing a teacher!" _my mind screeched and I blanched pulling back my head and scurrying backwards out of the bathroom quickly leaning heavily on the staircase banister panting and shuddering softly. He followed me unsteadily staring down at me before regaining his composure putting his hands on either side of me leaning on the railing towards me and murmuring "What in Merlin's name was that?"

"A-a-a kiss." I stuttered

He rolled his eyes. "I was implying as to why you took that course of action..."

"I already told you and you didn't believe me." I snapped at him suddenly.

He paused leaning up and away from my face adjusting his robes. "That is not possible you idiotic girl. You cannot love me. I-" he suddenly snapped his mouth shut glaring down at me as if I'd committed some terrible offence by falling in love with him. "You have _not"_ he hissed darting forward inches from my face.

"I'm not afraid of you" I hissed back up into his beautiful face. Even when I was angry with him. I loved him more than I could bear. And I was afraid he would never love me back. After all who was I to be worth his attention I was just a student of his. He'd seen prettier, more talented, smarter, better behaved, less volatile girls go before I was completely sure. I was no one to him. Nothing. I realised with another gasp of pain. I was nothing... "Freak." I mumbled dashing away from him as fast as I could and before I could comprehend it I was in a tree in my front yard holding a scalpel designed like a quill to my wrist slashing into my wrist furiously. I stopped looking down at it quietly. The slashes blended together in my neat handwriting spelling out _"Nothing" _in my blood. Good. That's all I was and all I would ever be. I shook the excess blood off and curled up laying down on my uncarved arm wiping the scalpel-quill clean on my shirt and slipping it into the back-pocket of my grey skinny-jeans and lay there because I was tired and had lost too much blood and was slowly losing consciousness.

* * *

><p>I jolted awake suddenly gasping. "What the hell did you do to your arm?" he growled through gritted teeth.<p>

"I um..." I couldn't focus... "Cut it, I think..."

"Why?"

I blinked thinking hard. "Oh yeah, cause you don't love me."

He grabbed my arm gently turning it over. "Nothing?"

I blinked up at him regaining enough sense to pull my wrist away slowly. "That's all I am to you... That's all I am ever..." I murmured starting to drop from the tree. He suddenly reached out stopping me from bolting his hand resting on my waist.

"You are not." He pulled a vial from one of his pockets "Drink this."

"No."

"Now."

"No." I snapped raising my voice.

He whipped me around making me face him. "It was not a question, Keira. Drink. The. Potion."

I blushed realising the way he was holding me to him making me straddle his lap. He apparently didn't realise this which I suppose is fair since he was so focus on getting me to drink the healing serum. I slipped the vial from his hand and drained the contents timidly. "Thank you." He grumbled turning over and examining my arm which had no trace of the "self-expression" I'd left on it. He snorted humourlessly "Self Expression? You slashed your damn wrist open."

"Don't start with me, Severus."

He raised an eyebrow and I realised I'd accidently used his first name... "I do apologise." He chortled softly.

"No you don't. You liar. You're not sorry at all."

He smirked.

I leaned forward into his face daringly raising an eyebrow challengingly.

He stiffened holding my waist firmly. "What. Are. You. Doing."

I put my head on his chest and yawned. "Sleeping."

"No you are not. You wouldn't dare."

I yawned again slurring "Yeah sure whatever" adjusting in his arms.

"Keira I mean it" he growled.

"Whatcha gunna do about it" I murmured

He sighed and as I dozed of I heard him mutter "Nothing"

**A/N I had quite a hard time writing this. Really. I had to take quite a few breaks but I find myself pleased with the ending.**


End file.
